Holidays With Family
(trigger warning: contains talk about suicide and grief)
Happy Monday! We are only three days away from Thanksgiving, and Christmas is approaching quickly after; SO… Happy Thanksgiving! I hope no matter what situation you're in, you can step back and prioritize joy for yourself.
That being said, today we're going to talk about not being alone in holiday anxiety from whatever situation you may be facing. Holidays can be incredibly tough to get through for many. Please remember to reach out to loved ones, and if you're reading this now, know you're not alone, and you are loved! The national suicide hotline is 988. Do not be afraid to reach out to someone for help.
When someone mentions the holidays, most people's initial thought is turkeys, presents, Christmas trees, New Year's ball drop, etc. However, for a good majority of the world, holidays bring dread, painful memories, and sometimes suicidal thoughts. If someone you know has a hard time around the holidays, please check in on them. No one wants to feel alone.
If your situation revolves around the passing of a loved one, first, I'd like to say, I am so sorry for your loss. You are not alone; no one can tell you how to grieve properly. The anxiety leading up to this time of year can hit hard and be debilitating. It's important to find things to ground you and calm your nervous system so you can process the rush of emotions easily. Sometimes being around other people feels unbearable, but for many people, it’s actually exactly what they need. Oftentimes time people grieving a loved one like to find ways to honor them during the holidays. Maybe try saving them a seat at the table, keeping their picture or a personal item close, even doing something that reminds you of your loved one, or something they loved to do, can help with the emotions you might feel around this time.
If it's your first holiday without a loved one, please take a moment to give yourself time to process your emotions. You are allowed to feel your emotions, and it's important to lean on those around you. Any loss is devastating; the holidays emphasize time with loved ones, with no account for those struggling with the loss of one. You are strong, and you are worthy of enjoying this time with others in your life, while still celebrating those you've lost. If things start to feel overwhelming, give yourself grace; you’re doing amazing; everyone needs a minute to breathe sometimes.
If you currently see a therapist or feel they could assist you in navigating your grief during this season, reach out and talk it through!
Some people's situations are based on financial distress. If this applies to you, please know you are not alone. The holidays can be so stressful, as it is purely based on spending money and showing “love” with gifts. However, know that this does not have to be the norm; pressure to purchase gifts can be overbearing; your presence is the best gift a loved one could ask for. Anxiety and Embarrassment are feelings many have when it comes to finances. If you are able, please consider visiting an angel tree to help someone in a less fortunate position. If you are in a distressing financial situation, things can get better; there are still good people out there who can help you, and it is not embarrassing. Everyone falls on hard times; as humans, we all need to be more compassionate toward others. If you need assistance with Christmas or Thanksgiving, these websites provide resources:
2025 Christmas Help and Assistance Programs - Helping Americans Find Help
Find Your Local Food Bank and Holiday Food Boxes | Feeding America
You deserve to eat a good meal, for Thanksgiving and every day, you shouldn’t feel guilty for being in a difficult financial situation.
There are so many different situations that present themselves during the holidays. Another one I'd like to bring to light is dealing with family. Sometimes, we are not as close with family as we'd like to be. If you feel unwelcome or overlooked at your family events or your spouse's family events, I empathize with you, and so many others feel the same way. There is a huge community out there on social media of women who feel unwelcome at their spouses' events, as well as just people in general who are not necessarily wanted at family events. This can happen for a multitude of reasons: differences in political parties, outright homophobia, arguments from years ago that they can’t let go, creepy uncle Dave (sorry if your name is Dave and you're not creepy), etc. Lots of things can spiral into someone being unwelcome, but a lot of times, many feel required to still show up. It’s okay to grieve the family relationship you wish you had. If this is you, take time for yourself. If a situation has you uncomfortable, walk away or speak up for yourself. Do not take disrespect, even if it's twisted to sound like it's not. You are not obligated to keep relationships that hurt you; it’s okay to not like or want to speak with someone at your events. You deserve to be comfortable around everyone and be able to speak up as needed.
You are not betraying anyone by speaking your truth and standing up for yourself or your spouse.
I hope this holiday season is kind to you (and everyone in your family is too!).
There are so many other situations that someone can be presented with during the holiday season. Just because I did not mention it, please do not feel like other problems are less valid. Everyone is valid in their feelings and situations, and if your situation is not one that I mentioned, I'm thinking of you and wish you the best of luck this season.
You are loved, cared for, and wanted. There is always space for you on this earth and at someone else's table. Do not be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help; someone will be there for you when you need them. Kindness exists, good people exist, and the world is not all evil, as scary as it may be sometimes. WE can do hard things!
I am proud of you, I love you. If Thanksgiving isn't your jam, I hope you have a wonderful week.
Goodbye for now, See you in the next one <3
